And Now...

I am afraid I have made a mistake. I am afraid that I put my foot in the door and destroyed everything. And made you make bad decisions. And these thoughts I have of you are fantastic and perhaps unrealistic. And you are my dearest friend, and you will begin to love again I promise. And I want to be that love. And I want the golden gates to open her arms and pull you in. And I want there to be less fear ...no fear is unrealistic. And I understand that this could go awry. And I know that it may not work out. But I think its worth the try...


we have waited too long?

we have waited the right amount.

And now I am pacing. And now you are getting into a car and talking and emoting. And now I am typing this. And now someone is dying and wondering if they made mistakes and now they are hoping that the people out there act and dont end up unhappy and dead like he is about to. And now we are fucking up and hoping its for the right reasons. And now we do the things we have to. And now we hurt. And now we get better. And now we hurt other people. And now there are birds cawing outside my window. And now they are flying away. And now a woman is getting in a cab to rush to her dying father. And now he is waiting for her. And now they will be together. And now tears from her face as the cab pulls closer to the hospital. And now in your car her tears fall too. And now you wish you had tears to fall so she could see you hurt too. And now you are hugging. And now she is leaving. And now you are wondering if it was a mistake. And now two fat ladies with no ankles are passing by and staring at me for too long. And now a little girl with dredlocks is looking at me too. And now I am wondering if they see my apprehension. And now they are all passing me by. And now I am still sitting here. And now the cafe attendant asks me if I would like a re-fill. And now I am thinking of ways to fill my void. And now I know that nothing will fill my void. And now you are wondering if you can fill my void. And now you are wondering if I can fill your void. And now we know that we cannot fill each other voids. And now these voids are growing. And now we fear them consuming us. And now we remember that the pit black deeps of our voids will not get us. And now we are getting up. And now we are turning around. And now we are determined to be okay. And soon we can see. And now is a new beginning.