mega freak out last night. Still not sleeping. Still insomniatic 23 years later. 
Today I wrote 11.30.2003 on the top of my paper. I was confused and for the quickest moment I couldn't comprehend how 5 years had passed and still I was the same kind of fucked up. 
The kind that longs for 17 when 17 actually sucked. And the kind that is dwarfed by fear on a nightly basis. 
oh hell oh hell oh hell.
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