My faultline

so I have a lot going on in my head. Nothing different from what it usually is except for this uncontrollable sense of doom. Like the walls are going to splinter and dissipate and I wont even have time to grab my keys. 

I wonder if when it all ends I will still grab for my passport and birth certificate? About four months ago we got into this bizarre tiff with the upstairs neighbor. Some macho bot boy with a big labido and immense ego from Scotland. Anyway he unpinned the fire extinguisher and sprayed our door with it. we were breathing in the awful chemical fog that had settled into the air. Angry, we planned on striking back- but the fire alarm sounded and we thought maybe there really was a fire. Barely thinking of anything but safety I grabbed my purse, cellphone, meds, rat cage, and this little portfolio that I keep all my really important papers in... I was out the door standing on the sidewalk in 3 minutes. 

There was no fire, but I was ready, I set myself at ease and it was fine. 

I was laying in bed last night, the image of this cartooned globe cracking in two, a shift of tectonic plates conspiring against my even footing, I feared the end was closer than I thought. I was torn between wanting the earth to open her mouth and just swallow me whole, or the spine of the earth missing my house by mere inches...